Coffee Zombie

I always thought I could never have discipline, a daily routine to fallow and master. My life was just to sporadic for that, but, as I paused in front of the coffee pot with the same glazed over eyes just waiting for the last drop of coffee to hit my cup, like a zombie wandering some corner street waiting for a living body, it hit me. I woke up each morning with a need, a drive for something so simply put: my cure for everything. I drink coffee when I am sad to make me feel better, I drink coffee when I have a head ache to numb the pain, and I even drink coffee when I want to spend time with people. I can so easily jump up and into the kitchen each morning with the need for caffeine and not even think twice.

Here comes a problem with this unrecognized routine, much like the zombie drooling in wait for a brain to eat, I too am neglecting all other activities in wait for my next cup of coffee. I sit in the silents of my living room just sipping at a strong cup, staring at the wall like I have no motivation to do anything else. Much like a zombie I wake up each morning with a need to be alive but instead just sit her hoping that one of the times I wake up I will finally find the key to having a routine flouting in my cup of coffee but it will never happen.

I, much like zombies and brain eating, have made coffee my life. Now, don't get me wrong I find no harm in drinking a cup and enjoying it or sitting in a group laughing in between sips but I find it so funny that I can add coffee to every aspect of my day but forget to add God at all. The bitter taste of my coffee is even more recognizable as I think of the number of times I stop for a cup of coffee in a day and how few times in a week I stop and actually spend time with God. In my relationships with people I find it simple to poor out a cup of my favorite blend of dark roast and share it with them but yet I can't find the time to poor out my heart for Christ in any one of the conversations I have with these same people. I find it so hard to wake up and read my bible for ten minutes but wait twenty just sitting with cup of coffee in my hand so I can stumble to the microwave to reheat it for the second time. It's frightening how much like a zombie I really have become.

Something in me will have to change now, I know that. I have finally realized something and with that information I will have to make an effort toward a change, a step in a better direction. I will still be picking up that cup of coffee as I slug out of the kitchen but now the one thing that will be difference between me and my cup of coffee and the zombies and there brains will be what waits for me in my seat when I get there. My bible will rest in wait for me to turn the pages and as I sit here this morning, the first real morning I try to change my discipline, I chose to be less like a zombie, I chose to open up my bible, I chose to be filled with life.